The Restoration Project by Christopher H Martin

Author:Christopher H Martin [Martin, Christopher H]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780880283687
Publisher: Forward Movement
Published: 2014-01-16T00:00:00+00:00

Finding A Spiritual Friend and Guide

The good news is that we are not meant to be alone in this work of the fifth step of claiming the image and likeness of God. Again, Benedict writes that a monk "does not conceal from his abbot any sinful thoughts entering his heart, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confesses them humbly" (THE RULE OF SAINT BENEDICT, 7:44). Most of us don't have abbots, but all of us have access to people who can play the role of spiritual confidant. This aspect of our spiritual growth requires someone we trust. The work we do on ourselves, by ourselves, will always reach a limit. We need others to help us to distinguish the path of love from the path of deceit. There are two characteristics of speaking truthfully. First, we honestly face into where we have erred and get into the practice of confessing our sins. Second, we learn to discover and claim our real gifts and offer them for the world.

Speaking truthfully about our sin is no easy matter. It requires holding steady in the face of some powerful shame. There is something in us that would prefer to continue in a falsehood we have always clung to rather than to let it go and continue on the path of truth. It is mortifying to admit to ourselves and, even more, to others that we have been deceived. We are like Fonzie from the old TV show Happy Days. We think we are cool and in control, but when the truth comes out, we can barely begin to articulate what is true. Like Fonzie, we begin to speak and what comes out is like an old, underused engine trying to start "I was wr... I was wr... I was wr...."31

Augustine, as is often the case, precisely captures the core of our dilemma. "We love the truth when it enlightens but hate it when it accuses. Because we do not want to be deceived and do want to deceive, we love truth when it reveals itself and hate it when it reveals us."32 If we return to the exercise at the beginning of the book where someone stares into our eyes and asks, "Who are you really?" a significant part of the truth is actions, thoughts, and stances for which we are or ought to be ashamed. The rare moment when someone looks deeply in our eyes includes great promise but also terror. We hunger to be known. And we are afraid to be known.

This fifth step, then, holds great potential. Either we will continue the spiritual journey in a greater knowledge of the truth of ourselves and of God, or we will stay where we are, cloaked in falsehood or deception. Spiritual master and Trappist monk Michael Casey states it precisely: "Taking the difficult step of speaking frankly about oneself is the price one pays for spiritual progress beyond a certain point. Encouragingly, it is also the sign that one has already made considerable advance in opening oneself to the workings of grace.

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